this needed to be alive

2008, the 20th of February.


Lets make dreams. lonely ones.
lets make sands tha t mak e glas s
lets make promises that our friends want to keep.
we are elixers
good ones
that fuse clouds into dust into us into u
and then our parents on sundays.

that’s too sweet, I so don’r knoe what ro say.
But! I will try, but only in a sentence ended with
wirth.

we could of got a few back.
thats what we said.
in youth. in god.
we talkd about it later.
but we knew what we wanted

I nevr liked it, but I liked you so I didn’t criticise too hard. Infact I
celebrated your dumb words, your catalog of indiscretions.
But what did it mean anyhow, for a word such as that only explained so little.
A little of nothing but still……… sat slowly and unpreturbed did I, as you said them all, the words.

but that’s just you.
isnt it.

o Luke

o Luke

O, Like.

we give each other up. with soft shoes. with a rhine-heart.
maybe thats how its supposed to be.

I make stars. I make many things out of yarn, telling.
a little come up. a little something to lay on the shoulders.
warm. brown. birthdays. christmas.

a holiday of somethig less deserve-d. But! Again with the Bur! A celebration of the Butt! A holiday of dorthcoming ignominies. All surprising. (But!) just because it’s a favorite conjunction of mine. Nothing morenothing less.

Dear Diary,
    Today I met a boy, very special to my little wet ache of a heart.
im just me
don’t blame me
lets just go then
where you want to. desert. dust. cactus. peyote. spanish.

I give up on me.


Trails of yarn. A spine fallen. Maybe a wash unfilled. but those don’t ecist……..


An anonymous exit we cavort through, you & I.
Amen.

and betrayal.
and hate.

but forgoe the hate and remember that to love only incites such feelings. And are you worth so much?

the sentiment that I give.
the touch.
just go pack it up. for packs of coyotes, and packs of cigarettes.
just give up on it all into nebraska.

A pack of wild dogs addicts me to what I do before I do. But not to say it isn’t true. The truest. I follow like an instinct the stink of a smell sweet as you.

what we do best is get along
like bad song.
like forever.

we wished we knew how.
the mechanics of it all.
but thats a union job and we just cant pay the bills.

nice coverup but poor followthrough

you know what?
go fuck yourself.
of the grand canyon. into oblivion. off of old thunderstorm of 17 hour hike.
I dare you.
bitch.
seriously.
I mean come on.
you are talking to a guy in a 1500 dollar suit
come on.


GOOD comeback, retard nation. It’s cool to be as retarded as a loser dog who cant fuck even sight as a bitch who can’t hear a second.

whoa.
whoa.


just
stop.

here comes arizona
an eagles song possibly
then we just sat there

I have come to the realization that us just doesn’t have as much weight as me.
but there is a lot of bacon that could tel you otherwise.
so we settle for sausage. or heartache. patsy. willie. and me.
GROSS

you make me want to take a knifer in the bathtub to make it cleaner for all the lovedones who find me. Not to make them sad or anything, but like, I just had to do it then and everything, so don’t get all sad n shit cuz like it’s not a big ficking deal or


I miss you when yer not there

that was the last time I sang to her.
forever.
and ever. night time.